zach is back!!!

none of u know who zach is, but i liked him FAR before egg. well, he was out of town and hes back! aaahhh! hes back! except..see...he likes my friend drew..and drew likes him. so yea. he DID like me, but he found out i liked egg and ... well..that was done with. but anywayz..hes back! thats all that matters! hes back! hes back! hes back! i like him a lot...a lot a lot a lot! hehehe! drew..if ur reading this....HE'S BACK! HE'S BACK!! aaah! hahahahaha! im SO happy! GOD I LOVE BEING BACK IN VEGAS! i mean, yea..sum1 pretended to be me in egg's thingy muh bobber, and ever since then..and actually long before then i have been the butt of every joke in there, but ... I DONT CARE! CAUSE I AM SO HAPPY! well...gotta go, im gonna go spread my joy like a lil fairy! joy! joy! joy! ::blows magical fairy dust @ u!:: JOY! (i have a bandaid on my finger. yay me.) OOOH..TINY PLANETS IS ON! BYE!  

who are you!?!?!

i am...SO pissed off right now! on egg's website, somebody pretended to be me and said... mallory!: I fucking hate you erik, you're a scumbag, go die, I never wanna talk to you again, faggy ass ska POSER! ...it was NOT me! and whoever did it, needs to tell me ...RIGHT NOW! he thinks that it really was me, and now he doesnt know what to think of me. its gotta be one of the people that are "close" to me, cause you used my e-mail address. well....tell me RIGHT NOW WHO YOU ARE! i need to know, he deserves to know that that wasnt me. i cant believe someone that i trusted would do this to me. you know what ive been going through trying to regain his trust, and you destroyed it!!! TELL ME WHO YOU ARE! stop being a coward and hiding behind MY name. who are you?

egg=egghead! jk!!! jk!!! jk!!!!!

All my  thingy muh bobbers have mentioned egg...sheesh! i must be obsessed or somethin. hehehe

well anywayz...i screwed up w/him and thats 2 bad. but im back in vegas now, if im lucky he'll realize that i am a good person and he'll wanna be like we were before i left for utah...if im lucky. (my name means ill-omened in case u didnt know. ...its true www.babynames.com and search 4 my name!)

*sigh* it sux that i ruined it w/him so bad...but i hope things change now.

you know what else sux? ...i dont remember hahahaha..i was gonna say something...hmmm...tink mallory tink! oh, i had plans of going to the mall w/egg b4 i went 2 utah, and we ended up not being able 2 go, so i was gonna try and get 2 go there w/him once i got back...but i think hes afraid 2 go n e where w/me...i think hes afraid that ill chop off his man-parts if he looks @ n e 1 but me. ya know?

you know wats weird? i KNOW that the fact that he doesnt want me in the bf/gf way anymore bugs the crap outta me..i KNOW for a fact that it hurts me! ...yet, when im awake and just kickin it ... i dont feel like its hurting me. i dont get it. maybe...i dont care? but i know i do?? i dont think im making sense. hehehe buuut....even though this is creepy (especially if ur egg)..i gotta do this...just 4 some kix..and cause BY DEFINITION...this is true!!

I LOVE EGG!!!!

i feel like im ok w/the fact that hes movin on from me.....i feel like it just doesnt bother me in the least bit (though u wouldnt know it by my posts lol)

 

 

love: Noun1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair

epiphany=optimism

I had an epiphany last night, and that is..that I dont really need Egg. I realized that I threw away lots of relationships ... but those guys dont even know that I threw the relationships away...so I can just fall right in to their arms! Although I do wish it woulda worked out w/Egg...I really just dont need him, and all day I've been happy and truly just been like a fairy! When I do think about Egg, I dont cry like I did yesterday. Last night, Egg pretty much said that we will NEVER be a couple, that things just wont work out and that he's not willing to try. So..FINE! I think that I might really be OK w/that. I guess we'll find out! Well, we're leaving 4 Vegas soon, so talk to you all later. ~later dayz~

i screwed up

i screwed up BIG time w/egg. and i only call him that cause i dont think he wants me sayin his name (even though i think everyone knows who he is). see, after reading those e-mails i sent him, he thinks i'm some sort of psycho, you know? i just had one outburst though, i mean...its weird that he cant just 4get about it and just think about all the times that i wasnt being psychotic. but ... the thing i hate most about him not liking me anymore, is that theres nobody to blame 4 it. im the one that screwed up....and i hate that i cants just pin all the responsability on someone else. i mean, yea...hes 3 years older than me...but i thought he didnt care about that. i just...wish he could understand that i would do ANYTHING just to go back to how we were before those e-mails!! i would do.....ANYTHING to prove to him that i AM who he thought i was. i AM!!! ...and none of this woulda happened if i wasnt in frickin utah! I HATE THIS PLACE! its makin me crazy and that caused me to be upset which caused me to take something egg said WAY too personally and "explode". *sigh* i just...wanna go back 2 how things were and i want him to give me another chance....cause i mean, the things i said to him were INSANE..but i didnt mean any of them!!! i wish he could understand that and just let things be back 2 normal. i miss him liking me, i miss not thinking that maybe i am psycho (cause trust me..i'm not)! egg, if ur reading this, please take wat i'm saying in to consideration cause you have NO clue how sincere all these words are! i miss you. i know ur not really gone but ... i miss you liking me and i miss us being able to just joke around and stuff, i miss thinking that maybe we could have something and i miss you actually believing in wat we could have. i KNOW wat i said was WRONG and out of line!! but i swear to you on everything that i've ever known and loved...I DIDNT MEAN ANY OF IT! ...please...e-mail me, we can talk about it, please. i know i sound pathetic, but this is how it is!! i flushed all my other relationships away cause i thought u were the next big thing, you have people that you can go to, you have other girls...but i have no one to fall back on, does that make sense? i dont have anyone left. give me another chance, i only screwed up once...so, just remember all the times i wasnt screwing up...you DO know who i am, no matter how hard it is to remember me. well, i have 2 get going...this is probably 2 long anywayz. ~later days~

i gotsted issues teehee

i keep 4getting what my name 2 make new posts is. lol, so i'm gonna write it here so i'll always be able to view it.... chicletinvegas ok...now that we've gotten that over with. ...alright, i dont know if i told you that guys name, but for his protection, we'll call him "egg" (dont ask). well, egg wrote me an e-mail today!!! he is so sweet, ya know that? lol...well, i think things r gonna be getting much better...but maybe not today was a HORRIBLE day until i read that e-mail! aah! i woke up and felt like crap cause last night i wrote him 2 HORRIBLY emotional e-mails that you cant unsend! and then i cried 4ever cause i didnt know what to think it was craziness, but then we went to my grandma's grave, then went to go pick out my grandma's headstone, then went up to my dad's grave. my dad's grave was the worst part of all. i couldnt even go over to it i just laid down by the car and cried. my mom didnt even care she just came over and said mallory get up and we left. i as SO pissed @ her!!!! i just wanted to...AAH! well...anywayz, i wish people would add comments...just 4 kix ya know? hehe...this site should be getting better soon..i'm gonna ask EGG to help me make it better, hopefully he will. he has a site on here too and it is MUUUUUUCH BETTER! well, g2g...pplz are annoying and r IMing me a buttload of e-mail ttyl! *muah* (that kiss especially is headed towards egg and all my buddies!)

Virgin to this!

This is my first post! Yay me! Well...i'm in Utah right now, and I'm kinda bored and depressed. There's been this guy...I guess you could say "in my life" for almost a month, maye a little over a month. I was taken by his appearance...he's a hottie! Then we started talking and I'm completely infatuated! ...I just found out he doesn't exactly feel the same. I haven't talked to him for @ least 3 days..which is REALLY bad! We used to talk everyday. I wrote him some e-mails but he hasnt written back. He's got soccer practice and work to deal with so I'm sure I'm outta the picture now. Too bad. Well....hope you enjoy my bloggingness! ...I dont think thats a word...well it is now! So...I guess I'll ttyal!